Uniquely Deep

"And how do you think he's doing, socially?" I asked near the end of our parent-teacher conference on Tuesday afternoon, after Mrs. W had gone over N's report-card grades, his academic strengths and weaknesses, and his still-obvious bouts of anxiety in class and how she's been handling them.

She leaned back in her chair and considered me. "I think there's still an issue there," she said, and then stopped. "I know what I want to say, but I feel like I need time to consider my words. Would it be OK if we waited until Thursday to talk about this a little more?"

[Thursdays are when I volunteer in N's classroom; I help out until the first recess, and then Mrs. W and I talk until she has to go out and watch the kids.]

"Sure," I said, a little worried. What could she possibly have to say that requires 48 hours of thought-gathering?

Today, in the fifteen minutes we had to talk, I found out.

She had this to say: "I think that N has a hard time finding common ground with other kids in the class because he's so different from them. He's definitely unique."

She had this to say: "N has a depth to him that I can't quite put my finger on, but I think it's a big part of what's going on with him."

She had this to say: "We may well ultimately find out that he's gifted."

She had this to say: "He may well ultimately be served well by being retained in kindergarten for another year because of some of his immaturity issues."

She had this to say: "On the other hand, he's drawn to adults and older kids, and another year in kindergarten isn't going to help with that."

She had this to say: "He's very sensitive."

She had this to say: "He has definite signs of anxiety, and we need to be sensitive to that, to take pressure off of him, because he can't perform under pressure."

She had this to say: "What I'd love to see is for N to find someone to be close friends with, to get close to another child in the class."

She had this to say: "I'm not sure it's going to happen."

She had this to say: "No, I'm not really sure how to make it happen."

I had a lot to say, myself. But, really, she said it all.