In Which I Demonstrate My Lack Of Attention Span

1. I don't know what all those reviewers are talking about. I thought Jon Stewart was hiLARious. Though clearly the only person at the Kodak Theater who agreed with me was the scrumpdillyicious George Clooney.

2. N is starting to read. At first I didn't realize he was doing so, because he's doing it the complete and total opposite way Em did. She was a sounder-outer of the first degree, while he...well, he still can't tell you what sound various letters make (even though he can identify and write every single one of them) (she says, making sure nobody thinks her kid is slow, because she's That Kind of Mother) so sounding out is not his thing. With him, he just picks words up, one or two at a time. When you point to a word he either knows it--and thus doesn't hesitate for a second before saying it--or he doesn't, in which case he shrugs and says, "I dunno," and waits for you to tell him.

3. My mother turns 65 on Thursday. Wow. (And yes, she was young--not quite 23--when she had me. She always says we grew up together.)

4. South Dakota can blow me. So, for that matter, can Dubya. But neither of them can have sex with me. Because if I got pregnant, I'd be shit out of luck.

5. It's looking like March 31 will be my last day as an office slave. Can I say woo? And hoo?

6. N may not be able to sound words out, but he has finally--at 5 years of age--figured out how to rhyme.

N: Hey, Mommy!
TC: Yes?
N: I can make a rhyming! Watch this! ... Duck ... Fuck! They rhyme!

Greeeeaaaaaaaat.