Tiny Coconut

I have things.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

It's A Good Thing I'm Quitting, Or I'd Quit

The weekly story meetings at my office have become a game of PR Survivor. We've been without a boss since the end of July, mind you, so there's nobody really in charge. Everyone is cranky and dispirited. We've had two more people quit since my boss left, and nobody is in a position to hire replacements. Morale sucks.

So, of course, now seems like a good time to turn every meeting into a bitchfest about how badly everything is being handled, doesn't it?

A recitation of what went on today would only interest me, but let me tell you: It was a bloodbath.

Which makes the conversation I'm planning to have with the most senior person in the office tomorrow even sweeter. You know, the conversation in which I get to say, "I quit."

I'm really going to do it! Although one of my new bosses-to-be already sort of outed herself in a previous message, I can't be too specific as yet. What I can tell you is that, in addition to being the managing editor of a bimonthly alternative medicine magazine, I'm now also going to be the news editor for a new not-yet-launched parenting website. It sounds like an incredible opportunity--and, even more importantly, it sounds like it's going to be a whole lot of fun.

So, with two steady-income gigs and the promise of the occasional freelance assignment from a number of different venues, I'm going to give it a go. It's going to mean that belts get even tighter than they currently are, but it also means I'll be working from home, and able to spend more time with my kids after school. And, even more importantly, I'll be doing writing again that doesn't make me want to scream with boredom and frustration. You have no idea how freeing that feels.

In my appointment with my therapist yesterday, I told her that it was official, that I was going to be quitting my job. She actually squealed with delight. Even when I told her that I'm a little scared about the uncertainty of it all, she kept on smiling. "Since the first day you came here," she said, "this is what you've wanted. It's been the constant theme in our discussions. You must be just thrilled."

And I am. I really, really am. It's amazing to me that something I thought--over and over again--would never happen for me has happened. And it happened because I pursued it steadily. Once my therapist got me to understand that there are always options, that there is never no way out, I started to see the signposts and the possibilities. They are, as I'd hoped they would be, limitless. Scary, sure. But limitless nonetheless.

Wish me luck.

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