The Bastard!

Em and I went to the mall the other day, to pick up some clothes for her for the cruise. I knew she'd been there the day before with her dad, pre-shopping as it were.

Me: Em, I don't want you to tell any secrets or anything, but I just need to know if Daddy bought me a present yesterday, because we're not supposed to be buying each other presents for our anniversary.

Em: Nope. He didn't buy you anything.

Phew. So we go home, and I fill out my ten cards, thinking, "Hah! For once I'm going to be the more generous one!"

You know where this is going, right?

That night, as Baroy was leaving Em's room after kissing her goodnight, and I was entering it, he said to me, "I can't believe you tried to trick our daughter into giving away a secret!"

"What do you mean, a secret?" I replied. Lightbulb goes on: "I can't believe you bought me something!" Looking at Em, who is giggling madly: "I can't believe you lied to me!"

"I had to!" she protested. "Daddy told me not to even tell you he'd bought anything!"

I sputtered a bit and used a wide variety of curse words. (N doesn't only get his vocabulary from Baroy, you know.)

"Oh, please," Baroy said. "It's just a little something."

And so this morning I got my little something: a diamond and emerald pendant on a gold chain.

As for Baroy? He got cards.

WHAT am I going to DO with that man?