You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I was sitting in Barnes & Noble while Em had Hebrew school today, sipping a chai tea and doing some work, when I came upon the following line in an article on Ayurvedic asthma treatments that I'm editing for the alternative medicine journal:

Dhanvantara gutika--which is given in pill form--contains up to 16 ingredients. The ingredients are mainly plant-based, but may also include the excreta of a newborn elephant and the semen of the privet cat.

All I could think was: 1. Who the hell would think of putting newborn elephant excreta and privet cat semen into a medication? and 2. Number one on the list of Medications I Will Never, Ever, Ever Put Into My Mouth is dhanvantara gutika.