The News From San Francisco

N (who is 5.5) is spending the weekend in San Francisco with his Uncle Stevie, who he absolutely adores. Earlier today, I got the following two emails from Steve:

Subject: Quote from my nephew

While in the tunnels on the BART, N and I repeatedly noticed a tiny blue emergency light flashing by every 50 yards or so. In keeping track of them, he spotted three for every one I noticed myself. Then when we got back to the hotel and got off the elevator, I turned in the wrong direction toward our room and he had to correct me. He then raced ahead and was waiting for me with indulgent patience when I finally got there.

ME (A groan.) You see things better than I do, you remember directions better than I do, and you walk faster than I do. You should be taking ME to San Francisco.

N: I'm not a good driver, you know.

And then, a few moments later, came this one:

Subject: Killin' me here

I brought a couple packs of Extra! Wild Cherry gum with me because I knew it was N's favorite ("berry gum" in Nspeak). All day he's been digging into my right jacket pocket, in intervals that accounted for all 15 sticks. So when we got back to the hotel room, I said to him, "Duh. I have an idea." Then I opened a brand new pack, put it in his pants pocket, and said, "Now you have berry gum whenever you want it." Whereupon he opened the hotel room, stuck his head out, and began shouting, "BERRY GUM FOR SALE! BERRY GUM FOR SALE!" I had to physically pull him back inside.

Hee.