Tiny Coconut

I have things.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Do as I say, not as I do

Dad's dying. Work's a bitch. We're in debt up to our ears for some reason. (Could be the insane spending of money, I suppose.) N is acting out--at school, at home.

So guess what I decided to do? Go off my antidepressants, of course!

There are actual good reasons for it, number one being that Lexapro isn't doing much more for me than Celexa did, except to help me gain those last five pounds I needed to go from normal to overweight in my BMI. And also because I'd like, some day in the not-so-distant-future, to get some medical insurance that would actually allow me to, you know, take my kids to the doctor's office without having to pay for the entire thing out of pocket due to the for-real, I'm-not-joking $8,000 deductible on our current policy. And for that, I need to not be on antidepressants.

And I'm doing it smart. Cautious. Almost insanely slowly. I'm on 20 mg of the stuff officially, so I started by taking only 10 mg every third day, then every second day, and now, two weeks later, I'm taking 10 mg two days in a row and then a 20 on the third day. In a week or so I'll go down to 10 mg, period, and stay there for a week or two, at which point I'll start skipping every third day of pills, then every other, then maybe even taking 10 mg every third day before stopping entirely.

That sounds very sane, very smart, very careful, doesn't it?

And it is. Except for that part above, proving this to be possibly the Very Worst Time Ever to go it alone, save for when Stalker Girl first ramped up her 'interest' in our family. In fact, if any one of you were doing this, I'd have stern words for you. But me, I know better. I know I'll be fine. That, or I'll dive headfirst into the first shrink's office I can find in about a month or so, begging for the strongest stuff on the market. One of those.

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