What I Was Thinking, 2:42-3:04 pm, PST

I really should be working on that release about the role of the epithelial-mesenchymal transition in alveolar epithelial cells in idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis.

I’m bored. My stomach hurts. I wish I hadn’t eaten that mango.

I wonder if Baroy is remembering to get Em to push fluids? If he doesn’t, she’ll end up wheezy again. She really hated that breathing treatment yesterday.

My mom should DEFinitely switch to a Mac.

I really should be working on that release about the mechanism of action of motexafin gadolinium in tumor cell lines.

I hope N is playing with someone at daycare. There’s no way I’m going to be able to get out of here early enough to pick him up before the very end of the day. Poor kid.

Hey, I didn’t hear back from the speech therapist about the recommendation that he be seen by that preschool assessment team. Oh, and I didn’t hear back from Monica, either. I wonder if she thought I was trying to take advantage of knowing her to get her to move N up in the queue and get him assessed quicker. I mean, I was, but...I hope she wasn’t insulted by it.

Oh, that reminds me. I should probably call the urologist’s Pasadena office and see if he can see N any sooner than late May there, rather than at the hospital. Now, where did I put that number?

I really should be writing that release on using optical imaging techniques to measure lasik flap thickness.

Why don’t I have my sister’s home phone number in my Rolodex? I have her office number, her cell number...I guess I’ll call Baroy and ask him to look it up in my home Rolodex.

I wonder if Em needed another breathing treatment. I hope she’s not being all weird like yesterday and waiting for me to come home before she mentions that her head’s hurting again.

I wonder if we got the paperwork from CHLA so I can get N an appointment with the developmental ped.

I wonder if we could afford for me to take an unpaid leave? I can’t do this for much longer.

That Greenspan book on challenging kids is really good, but N doesn’t quite fit any of the categories. And I need more info on floortime. I wish his special needs book wasn’t so fucking expensive. I haven’t heard back on my interlibrary loan request for it, either. Shoot. Eventually, I’m just going to have to suck it up and buy it full price.

I have no idea why I’m being so cheap about something like this. I’m probably going to end up spending hundreds on uncovered therapies. What’s an extra $35?

I just don’t give a shit about anything right now. This is not good. I know Tammy said it was OK to be sad, but I hate feeling so dead inside.

Ooooh, I can’t forget to pay Tammy’s bill. Never good to stiff your therapist. I’ll do that this weekend.

I also need to finish up the school newsletter. It’s already a week late. Now, what did Lynn tell me this morning about the penny drive? Shit. My brain is shot.

I really should be working on the release on intra-vitreal triamcinolone. I can’t believe the conference is this weekend. I can’t believe I only heard about it on Tuesday.

Bonnie wants me to call that liver guy and apologize to him for whatever it is we said to piss him off. I'll email him instead. Later.

Why am I writing down my insipid, scattered, manic thoughts when I should be writing that release on Leber’s Hereditary Optic Neuropathy?

Damn. If I pay bills and work on the newsletter this weekend, I’ll never find the time to finish that query letter for Libby. Not to mention the book proposal. Oh, but I can’t forget to send my resume and clips to that guy for that antibacterial story. I have no idea what they pay, though...

I wonder if Baroy’ll hear back from Disney soon? He needs a break.

And why hasn't Rosie responded to me either? I sent her an email AND I left her a phone message. Oh, i really hope she's not avoiding me. That'd suck.

If Em and I don't pin down an exact date for her trip back east this summer, I'll never manage to get her into camps for the other weeks. I wonder if I'll have enough vacation time left to stay for a little while and play with my new nephew? Probably not. Maybe I really should take some leave. Maybe if I take some leave, I could find the energy to give a shit about stuff again.

This isn’t funny any more. I absolutely must sit down and write the retinal implant release, or someone’s going to fire me.

Of course, if I get fired, I’ll at least get unemployment...

Right. Health insurance. We’d be screwed.

What is our policy on unpaid leave, anyway?

Right. The releases. How many of them can I get away with putting off without getting fired?

I'm off.