Lost My Mind

So, yesterday, full of panic symptoms, I went home, popped a Xnax, and went out for a long walk/run. I picked up Em at her after-school care place on my way home. By the time we got home, the pill had kicked in but good, and I asked Em to do her homework and such and let me take a quick nap. I think I may have already passed out before I got up the last step to our loft bedroom.

She woke me at 5:30, as I'd requested, because Baroy and I had a PTA-related function to attend. I literally couldn't keep my eyes open. At 6:00, Baroy stood me up to get me out of bed, I got dressed, we dropped the kids off with a friend/neighbor who'd agreed to watch them, and went to our event. Baroy drove because I was stumbling over my own feet.

It was a lot of fun. We ate, drank some wine, talked. There was a silent auction, and I won a couple of baskets of goodies--a Japanese cooking basket for me, a basket full of art supplies for the kids. I paid for them by check, and we gathered the baskets up and went home...whereupon I realized that I couldn't find our checkbook. Baroy drove back to the restaurant, and they told him that one of the other PTA folk, who lives down the block from us, had picked it up for me after I'd left it on the table after paying for my baskets. (Shit. She's a really nice lady, but one of THOSE moms. Perfect mom, totally selfless, sweet and pious. I can guarantee you she never gets all drugged up for a party, has a few drinks on top of that and then loses her checkbook. Granted, that's a high bar most people could get over, but humor me, OK?)

Then, this morning, on the way to work, I had this sudden realization: Omigod, it's the 11th. My mother's birthday is on the 9th! I can't believe I did this! I can't believe I forgot my mother's birthday! I am the world's worst daughter. My mom is so great to me, she never forgets ANYthing like this, and not only didn't I get her a card, or send her a gift, but I didn't even call. Hell, I didn't even remember until TWO DAYS LATER!

I got into the office, and immediately called my sister to bitch her out for not calling to remind me on Wednesday, but she wasn't at her desk. So I just sucked it up and called home. My stepdad answered, and when I immediately asked to talk to my mom, he said, "Oooh. Sounds serious."

"It is!" I answered. "I can't believe I forgot her birthday!"

Silence. "Um, TC?" he said. "It's February. Her birthday's in March."

And here's the worst part. We're flying to NY next month...ON MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY. I knew that. I knew what month it was. Or at least I used to. You know, when I had a brain. When I hadn't completely lost my mind.

Oy.